


No Light In Your Bright Blue Eyes

by Merlin_Wolfgang_Trades_Hale



Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: Abandonment, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Anger, Danny "Danno" Williams Whump, Disappointment, Drug Abuse, Drug Addiction, Drug Use, Homelessness, Hurt Danny "Danno" Williams, M/M, Madness, Prostitution, Suicidal Thoughts, Team Feels
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-19
Updated: 2019-06-05
Packaged: 2019-11-24 11:32:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,573
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18164660
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Merlin_Wolfgang_Trades_Hale/pseuds/Merlin_Wolfgang_Trades_Hale
Summary: Steve broke up with him and disappeared.Five-Oh was disbanded.Rachel took the kids back to England to live with her mother.When Steve comes back after the mission that took him away, he thought the hardest part was getting Danny to believe and forgive him. But it's not. The hardest part is saving Danny...Danny's who's given up, who lost the will to live, who is also now homeless and an addict.





	1. Chapter 1

"Duke, what hell happened to Five-Oh?" Steve demanded. 

Duke looked at Steve with a resigned face, "It doesn't exist anymore. It hasn't for a while..."

" _What_? Why not?" 

Duke sighed, "After you left, after Kono and Chin left...it wasn't the same anymore. There wasn't enough give. The Governor disbanded the task force."

"What happened to everyone else?" 

"Lou went back to SWAT. Jerry found a place with the tech guys. Junior and Tani are beat cops working their way up the ladder." Duke answered. 

But the left only one person left. The one person who could have and should have kept the team together. The reason he tried his hardest not to die for...because he had to return to make amends with. Leaving Danny the way he had, broke him...they'd been so in love. But after Joe's death, hunting down Greer, figuring out what those feelings with Catherine were really about and what the point of his life was...

Steve knew it wasn't fair to Danny. He was prepared to beg and grovel and do whatever he needed to get back in Danny's good graces, no matter how long it took. He'll spend the rest of his life making it up to Danny, he was sure. 

Duke's face caused knots to form in his stomach, however.  

"Duke...what happened to Danny?"

"Oh, Steve...I'm so sorry."

Steve went rigid with fear. "Is...did...is he... _how_?"

Duke shook his head. "He's come close. Many times. Too many...at this point, death would be a mercy."

Steve's eyes widened, glistening with tears. "No. You're wrong. Why... _why_ would you say that?" 

"Because I've seen what's become of him. I've seen what's left. And Steve? It's not much." 

* * *

 

 

It took a few flicks before the fire erupted from the lighter in Danny's hands and he was able to light his cigarette. He took a deep inhale and held it before letting it out. He closed his eyes at the nicotine calming his nerves. His hand had been shaky all day.

He was halfway through his smoke when he could finally think clearly again. Or as clearly as he could with what he's had. Which he can't remember exactly. But there's a dull ache in his body that lets him know what's happened. It's very breezy and it helps a bit. But only a bit. 

His head hurts and he's not sure if it's from lack of sleep, lack of food, the drugs, the drinking, the fighting, or other questionable activities. Frankly, he doesn't care.

As he stands on the balcony overlooking the city there's a moment...he climbs up, the railing of the balcony being flat and rectangular enough for him to stand on. He stretches his arms out, throws his head back, closes his eyes, and lets the wind cool him down. 

For a moment he looks down. 

It crosses his mind for a second before he's jumping back, gripping the railing tightly. 

He shudders and huddles into the corner to rock back and forth as he finishes his smoke. It was the only lifeline he had. 

"Daniel darling...come back in."

Danny took his time before going back in. As he passed by, he grabbed the bottle of Jack and took a few swigs. This was his last night here. The people letting him stay here were getting bored with him, so if he was gonna be any fun, he needed a little help from his friend Jack and his buddy...whatever pill they had to get him going. 

* * *

 

Morning came and Danny could not remember how he got to where he was. He was making his way down the street barefoot, jeans that slid down his waist with all the weight he's lost, a tank top that was ripped and dirty, hair a mess. 

And god his head hurt! He's never felt so damn hung over. He finds a tree that provides shade and he tries to will the pain away. 

"Rough night?"

Danny blinked and squinted until the person made themselves known and then he groaned. "Flippa. Whattaya want?" 

"To help you but I don't think you're gonna let me. So...I brought you some food." Flippa said offering Danny a styrofoam container.

The smell alone made Danny's stomach grumble. He'll probably throw it up soon, but damn if he wasn't hungry. He began to eat like a starved animal...because he was one. 

"Kamekona know you're feeding me still?" Danny asked between bites. 

Flippa sent him a sad look, "Course. Sets aside something every day...wish you'd come every day. We worry when you drop off the grid, brudda." 

Danny closed the container and passed it over, or tried to. Flippa wasn't taking it back. "'m fine."

"We have room. It ain't much but..."

Danny sighed and stood up. "Tell Kamekona thanks. Delish as always. I gotta go." 

* * *

Much like the state, the bigger income Danny made legally came from tourist. Well...it's legal up to a point. A one night stand they needed and would stay on the island and forgotten about back home, a way for Danny to score a hot meal and a warm bed. Well, sometimes. Sometimes he got the date experience, sometimes he just got...experience. He came across a Madam who liked his look and knew others who would too. 

In theory, he made more than enough money to live like a fatcat in a very big and comfortable home. It wasn't what he wanted any more. He either wanted to feel bliss, pain, or nothing.

He didn't want to be sad. 

So he partied. He partied hard and with the best and worst of them. 

It was a miracle he was alive...

He doesn't remember making it to the latest party. It was more like a rave though. Hot, skin-clad people painted on his body with glow in the dark paint. He was down to his underwear but he couldn't care. Someone had shared their pills with him and it'd made the party way more fun! He danced and made out with people. He drank because he was so thirsty and people kept handing him drink after drink. He was invited to have sex in the VIP room and went along. He did a line of cocaine and pretty sure he was involved in a threesome before he went back out to party. 

Or so he thought.

Things got really blurry and then...bliss. Dark, cold, quiet bliss. 

* * *

 

He's resuscitated. A feeling's he's beginning to get used to. 

Danny laughs as he high fives the paramedic that brings him back. He tries to tell them he's alright and to be let go, but they insist to take him to the hospital. Danny shrugged and gave up. A hospital bed was another warm bed option.

He's resting peacefully, nearly drifting off to sleep when he hears a voice. _His_ voice. 

"Danny..." 

" _Steve_?"  


	2. Chapter 2

Seeing Steve after all that's happened pushed Danny into an angry panic. He bolted up, or tried to, but the machinery he was attached to made it hard. He began to pull things off like a mad man. Steve rushed forward to help Danny calm down but the moment he did, Danny went ballistic. 

Nurses rushed into the room. Some tried to calm Danny and keep him from harming himself, while another had to force Steve to leave the room. 

Steve watched on in misery as the nurses were forced to sedate the blond. 

"Steve..."

Steve turned around and saw Adam. The look on Adam's face was a mix of brief relief and then sadness. Steve didn't handle situations calmly, especially when Danny was hurt. Rather than greet Adam with an embrace he grabbed him by the front of his shirt and shoved him against the wall. "What the _fuck_ happened?" 

Adam, to his credit, didn't rise to Steve's anger and kept calm. He placed his hands on Steve's and got him to let go. "Let's go get some coffee."

* * *

 

To get some distance from the scene they just made, they went to a cafe across the street. They ordered their coffee, black and strong, and found a quiet booth in a dark corner. 

"What happened to Danny?" Steve demanded. 

"Everything," Adam replied as he took a sip from his cup. When Steve gave him a look to continue, he did. "You left Steve...that alone hurt Danny to the core. He loved you and you vanished without an explanation or goodbye." 

"It's not the first time..." Steve defended himself meekly. 

"No." Adam relented, "And I suppose you couldn't have imagined what happened next. He hit a slump. A depression that got very bad that it was obvious he wasn't as focused as he could have been...the team just had too many cases not go as planned. The Governor got a lot of heat and without you here and Danny not picking up the slack that was there...Five-Oh was disbanded."

Steve balled his fist into a ball to keep himself from breaking anything on the table. He wanted the rest of the story and didn't need to get kicked out. "Danny's stronger than that. A bad bout of depression wouldn't have sunk him as low as what I saw!"

"No. I agree. We could have worked harder, learned to be a better team and continue with the success rate Five-Oh had. But...I don't know how she did it, but Rachel got full custody of the kids and got them moved to the UK." Adam told him. 

" _What_? No. Danny wouldn't allow that!"

"He fought. And we fought with him. But none of us had the money his ex-mother-in-law apparently has. She got some of the best lawyers and given Danny's recent history, it just didn't look good in court. They made him seem like an irresponsible, hot-headed, reckless, drunk." 

Steve shook his head. That wasn't Danny. That wasn't Danny at all! How could people believe such things? 

"Laws in family court usually do benefit the mother, Steve. That day in particular, it just seemed like it was blow after blow after blow." 

They were quiet for a bit. Adam let Steve take it all in. He knew it was a lot. He saw it happen and he still has trouble believing it. 

"How did he get like...this?" 

"When the kids finally did move, Danny was a reck as you can imagine." Adam began. And Steve could easily imagine it. Poor Danny. His kids were his everything. He uprooted from his homeland where he was born and planned to die because Grace was being moved the first time. "He took to the bottle...when he got tired of being 'alone' he went out to a bar, and after that bar closed he went to a club...met people he should have arrested but instead let them influence him...Danny's hit a hard road, Steve."

"Then where the fuck have you all been?" Steve demanded angrily. 

"We were there! Do you think we want to see him like this? Do you think we like wondering when is the next time we're going to be seeing him and if he'll be alive? Do you think we don't stay up at night wondering where he is? That we don't try to go out looking for him, trying to stop some of the mistakes he'll make before he makes them? At first, he would crash at someone's place but then he'd disappear...his house got repossessed by the bank...he's become an addict and worse."

"Worse? What could possibly be worse?" 

Adam gave him a look. "How do you think he makes money for the drugs and drink that let him forget the shit life he's been living? We've tried putting him in rehab to get help...it hasn't worked. He fights and he escapes. He's strong and clever and he's dead set on one thing...and that thing ain't living. We're all worried Steve...but we have no way of stopping him short of arresting him."

"Then why hasn't anyone done so?" It was drastic sure, but if it would help Danny then it was needed. 

 "I no longer have a badge, so I can't. Anyone else on the force doesn't have the heart. They turn a blind eye to Danny and his problem because...are they really helping him if they do that? Legal charges would be in his record...forever haunting him...we're hopeful he'll want to come back to us...to the world of the living. And when he does...that black spot on his record will make things a billion times worse. Whenever someone sees him...they call me or one of the old members."

Steve had to close his eyes for a long moment to gather his thoughts. "I'll help him. Somehow...I'll bring him back. Back to who he used to be." 

"It's not gonna be easy," Adam told him. 

"Neither was leaving but I had to do that. So I have to do this." 

"Did you? Have to leave?" Adam asked. 

"I did. There were a lot of things I needed to figure out but now I know what I want and right now it's to help my Danno." 

* * *

 

Danny managed to escape. How? Some of it was ingenuity, but most of it was dumb luck. He's only in shorts but in Hawaii, it's not an odd thing, and the weather allows it. Luckily, when you seem like a mad homeless man that hasn't properly bathed in over a month, people tend to avoid looking your way. Danny heads towards one of his dealers...he can't handle Steve coming back. Not on his own with no help. Part of him isn't sure that he didn't just imagine it, but if Steve was coming back into his thoughts then he needed something stronger than his cigarettes or weed. 

He managed to exchange a 'favor' for some drugs that would give him the escape he needs. 

An hour later's he's found by Flippa, who calls Kamekona who orders him to bring him to the McGarrett home. 

No more running from the problem. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for any mistakes. I wrote this after being at a con, I am so tired but not sleepy but my mind is jumbled.


	3. Chapter 3

“It’s good to have you back sir, but are you sure this is the best idea?” Junior asked. 

 

“First of all, don’t call me that Joons. Second of all… no probably not. But it’s a hell of a mess. Best isn’t an option so we have to do the best we can.” Steve replied as they readied the guest bedroom. 

 

They had to make sure the windows were secure so Danny couldn’t escape. They also had to remove anything that Danny might use as a weapon that he could use to hurt himself or others or use to escape. The room looked very bare and almost unwelcoming. 

 

Steve frowned deeply before he turned to Junior. “Why didn’t you stay here?” 

 

Junior shrugged, “It wasn’t the same without you here. It felt… wrong.” 

 

“Where were you living?” Steve asked. 

 

“For a while, I went back to the shelter. Then Tani found out and told the team. I didn’t want to get on anyone’s nerves by outstaying my welcome so I did a bit of couch jumping until I had enough saved for my own place. The military helped me not require much so the small apartment I found was good enough.” Junior explained. The younger man shifted on his feet before he blurted out, “I’m really sorry, commander!” 

 

“It wasn’t your fault, Junior.” 

 

“But I could have tried harder. We all could have.” 

 

“What were your choices? None of you were really in any place to help Danny. From what I’ve heard and what I’ve seen… I think we just need to accept the miracle we have that he’s still alive. If this is anyone’s fault it’s mine.” 

 

“You had things to do,” Junior said. Out of everyone on the team, Junior was probably the only one who would understand him and his reasons the best. 

 

“I could have handled my departure much better. I fucked up. I fucked up really bad and now Danny... “ 

 

There weren’t any police reports, but there were hospital reports. They made Steve sick to his stomach when he read through the first three. There were plenty more. 

 

Part of him wished that HPD had intervened and arrested Danny. To snap him out of whatever the hell he was going through. But then he remembered what happened to Chin when he was in jail...or himself. A depressed Danny of this degree wouldn’t have lasted in prison if he’d been arrested. 

 

“We all could have done better for him. So we all fucked up, sir. But we’re all gonna pitch in and do what we should have in the first place.” Junior said. 

 

Steve nodded. He was glad that the team willing to come back and help him. The Governor was contemplating restarting 5-0. It wasn’t a done deal yet, but Steve was hopeful. 

 

“It’s not gonna be easy,” Steve said.

 

“5-0 wasn’t made for easy tasks,” Junior told him with a small smile. 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`

 

“Hey.” Lou greeted him in the waiting room. 

 

Steve looked over and nodded at him. He was still a bit upset that in his absence the team let Danny fall as hard as he did. He was a team player when he needed to be and right now it wasn’t about them, it was about Danny. 

 

“Hey.” 

 

“I’m sorry I couldn’t do more, Steve,” Lou said immediately. 

 

“It’s hard for me to believe Danny’s fallen this hard, let alone accept it. I don’t know how I would have been if it was happening in front of me. What could you have done?” Steve tried to be reasonable. He had his moment with Adam and seeing Danny as he did… Steve didn’t want to fight. He was tempted to run but he was done with that too. He just wanted to help Danny heal. 

 

“You would have yelled in his face, told him to stop it. To buck up and get his shit together… I was mad for him. After everything that kept happening. Hit after hit. I didn’t blame him for a few drinks. I let it slide when he started to smoke… I didn’t see just how bad it was until he’d be missing for days.” 

 

“He needs us, Lou. And we’re here for him. There’s still time.” Steve forced himself to say, even with all the emotion in his voice. 

 

Lou just nodded. 

 

Silence fell between them again before Lou asked, “How bad was he when they found him this time?” 

 

Steve let out a shuddering breath. “It was bad.”

 

“I’m surprised they let him out into your custody,” Lou commented. 

 

“The Governor and I had some words. I’m frankly surprised I’m not arrested. For whatever it’s worth, he hated disbanding the task force. And he felt bad for Danny. He hopes this would work in all of our favor and maybe lessen some of his guilt.” Steve told him. 

 

“Commander McGarrett?” A nurse called out. 

 

Steve raised his hand. “Yes. That’s me. How’s Daniel Williams?” 

 

“Malnourished and dehydrated. There are uh…” Her eyes shifted nervously. She didn’t want to be the one to tell someone like Steve news about someone he was taking in. Someone who might have been a loved one. 

 

“There are what?” Steve demanded. 

 

“Um...there are clear signs of a… male...escort.” 

 

Steve knew from the reports he’s read previously that hinted at that, that it was something he should expect to hear. It was still very hard for him to do so when he did. Blood drained from his face and he felt sick again. He swallowed thickly and cleared his throat. “Is there...ahem. Is there anything… how do I proceed?”

 

“Tests have come back negative, so he’s clean. We’ve subscribed vitamins that’ll help. He needs to stay hydrated. The doctor included the best dietary plan to start with. In one of the future follow-ups, the doctor can determine if and when he can go back to a normal diet. He’s got a few wounds, nothing overly worrying but they should remain clean and paid attention to.” The nurse explained calmly. 

 

“Anything else?” Lou asked. 

 

“That’s all the physical mindset. We’ve had Mr. Williams here a few times but have never been able to keep him for the care he needs. He’s been in a very dark place… he’s going to need a lot of patience. A lot of care. He’s hit a place where logic and reason by normal standards don’t apply anymore. He won’t see things the way you wish he just would. He’ll struggle and fight you on staying fit and healthy. He’ll look for his next score. So it’s important you keep track of medications, make sure he’s not around temptations, or have access to things or ways he can harm himself.” 

 

“Understood.” Steve nodded accepting all paperwork she had for him. He signed off on some stuff, and then they were ready. “Is he awake?” 

 

“He is. But he’s still under the effects of the sedation.” She replied. 

 

“That’s probably best,” Lou commented. He heard what happened the last time he saw Steve. 

 

It wasn’t still agreed that Danny moving in with Steve was the best idea in the world. But it was an idea. The only one they had at the moment, so they had to make it work. 


End file.
